Screw Everyone is comedian Ophira Eisenberg’s wisecracking account of how she spent most of her life saying “yes” to everything—and everyone—and how that attitude ultimately helped her overcome her phobia of commitment.
Skeptical about long-term relationships, Eisenberg approached dating as a sort of research experiment from early on: she spent her twenties traveling from futon to futon and gathering data, figuring that one day she’d put it all together somehow and build her own perfect Frankenmate. When she met a guy who didn’t fall for the emotionally cavalier facade she’d constructed (a guy who wanted marriage and monogamy), she knew it was time to reevaluate.
From her first kiss to saying “I do,” Screw Everyone is an honest, hilarious chronicle of how one woman discovered herself, conquered her fears, and even found the “real thing”—one promiscuous encounter at a time.
From Booklist
Starred Review It’s a jungle out there in the modern dating world. Just ask Canadian comedian Eisenberg. In this witty and wise memoir, Eisenberg recounts her rocky (and often raucous) road from queen of the one-night stand to princess of monogamous bliss. The sparkly, blue-eyed gentleman she ends up marrying is the last in a long list of lads who run the gamut from lovable geek to charming creep. Among them: a legally blind albino disc jockey and a fellow comedian possessing what may be the world’s largest collection of Garfield paraphernalia. (Eisenberg has no inkling of the gent’s cartoon-feline fetish until he opens his bedroom door and—quite literally—lets the cats out of the bag.) Amid her bounty of beddings, Eisenberg busts her butt to break into the stand-up scene. She hones her material and develops a commanding presence, so much so that after one show an astonishingly attractive couple offers her an unusual proposition, Would she like to become a dominatrix? Turns out, the whip-smart Eisenberg isn’t into whips (or chains, for that matter). But it makes for a juicy story. Eisenberg, who hosts the new NPR weekly trivia show, Ask Me Another, writes with poise, panache, and a hefty dose of self-deprecating humor. --Allison Block
About the Author
Ophira Eisenberg is a stand-up comedian, writer, and host of NPR’s new weekly trivia show, Ask Me Another. She has appeared on Comedy Central, VH-1, E!, and TV Guide Network. She is also a regular host and storyteller with The Moth.
Ophira was born in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and currently lives in Brooklyn, NY, with her husband, Jonathan, and their adopted Boston Terrier, a former show dog named The International Delight Mocha. Visit her website at OphiraEisenberg.com.
Description:
Screw Everyone is comedian Ophira Eisenberg’s wisecracking account of how she spent most of her life saying “yes” to everything—and everyone—and how that attitude ultimately helped her overcome her phobia of commitment.
Skeptical about long-term relationships, Eisenberg approached dating as a sort of research experiment from early on: she spent her twenties traveling from futon to futon and gathering data, figuring that one day she’d put it all together somehow and build her own perfect Frankenmate. When she met a guy who didn’t fall for the emotionally cavalier facade she’d constructed (a guy who wanted marriage and monogamy), she knew it was time to reevaluate.
From her first kiss to saying “I do,” Screw Everyone is an honest, hilarious chronicle of how one woman discovered herself, conquered her fears, and even found the “real thing”—one promiscuous encounter at a time.
From Booklist
Starred Review It’s a jungle out there in the modern dating world. Just ask Canadian comedian Eisenberg. In this witty and wise memoir, Eisenberg recounts her rocky (and often raucous) road from queen of the one-night stand to princess of monogamous bliss. The sparkly, blue-eyed gentleman she ends up marrying is the last in a long list of lads who run the gamut from lovable geek to charming creep. Among them: a legally blind albino disc jockey and a fellow comedian possessing what may be the world’s largest collection of Garfield paraphernalia. (Eisenberg has no inkling of the gent’s cartoon-feline fetish until he opens his bedroom door and—quite literally—lets the cats out of the bag.) Amid her bounty of beddings, Eisenberg busts her butt to break into the stand-up scene. She hones her material and develops a commanding presence, so much so that after one show an astonishingly attractive couple offers her an unusual proposition, Would she like to become a dominatrix? Turns out, the whip-smart Eisenberg isn’t into whips (or chains, for that matter). But it makes for a juicy story. Eisenberg, who hosts the new NPR weekly trivia show, Ask Me Another, writes with poise, panache, and a hefty dose of self-deprecating humor. --Allison Block
About the Author
Ophira Eisenberg is a stand-up comedian, writer, and host of NPR’s new weekly trivia show, Ask Me Another. She has appeared on Comedy Central, VH-1, E!, and TV Guide Network. She is also a regular host and storyteller with The Moth.
Ophira was born in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and currently lives in Brooklyn, NY, with her husband, Jonathan, and their adopted Boston Terrier, a former show dog named The International Delight Mocha. Visit her website at OphiraEisenberg.com.